Is there really such a thing as a 'late' reader? I suppose if you are in school and are not able to read at the predetermined timetable and keep up with your same aged peers, then yes, you will be considered a late reader. And then begins the defining moments in a child's life where this label now becomes his inner voice. But with unschoolers, perhaps there is no such thing as late.
One of the things I love most about unschooling is there are no timelines to meet academic milestones. Each of my kids is free to develop skills when they are ready and when there is a want for that skill. Having said that, it still doesn't stop me from having my own anxieties about what my kids can do academically compared to their schooled peers. I call it comparativitis. Some days I suffer from it quite deeply. Some say my worries are only because I haven't completely de-schooled myself yet.
My first child started to read at age 3. He got it. He just seemed to 'crack the code'. In those early years he wanted to be read to all the time from fact books. He needed to know everything he could about bugs, dinosaurs and cars. Every fact possible, even the Latin names. He was the child that at age 4 picked up the book Go, Dog, Go! and read it cover to cover to me while I had a shower. It's 72 pages long and geared towards grades 1 and 2.
Because it was obviously his passion, he was doing what most kids do about interests, he was obsessing about words! Filing them away in his mental sorting system. He would just simply read words. If he didn't know a word, we would just tell him it and he would never forget it. He wasn't a phonics reader, he didn't sound words out, I think he simply just 'cracked the code.'
Having this experience was great for me as a first time parent and first time home educator. This is easy! I thought. I didn't have to 'teach' him, I just had to facilitate and bring to him everything he needed. Fitting perfectly with our unschool philosophy of education. Along comes child number two — a completely different person in all ways. All these differences should be there, because they are different people. This begs the question; why are academics valued over other non academic skills? There are so many different ways to be 'smart', but only a couple of these count in our education system. Will it matter when they're older who started to read earlier or who had natural artistic talent? Are they just who they are? Focusing on what my kids can do and who they are is far more important to them then worrying about what they can't do and who they aren't!
It's hard for me not to want to sit down and 'teach' my daughter how to read. I read to her everyday because we love stories, but I don't teach her. I want to, and sometimes I try, because of my own insecurities. But she has a different agenda. She will not tolerate being taught. She's on to me and what I'm trying to do and it doesn't feel right to her. She will read when she's ready to read! And for now, she is able to be who she is and unfold her little life when she wants to, and for that, I am grateful.
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As a previous Montessori teacher, being there when my students learned how to read was the one thing I waited for patiently. Seeing the light bulb go on for them when they learned to read always made me cry. It was such a privilege to witness this amazing development for these children. The smiles and looks of "I can do it" was nothing short of a miracle. When my own children came along I waited for the day when this discovery would happen for them. My ambitious nature lead me to 'hurry' the process along with my oldest. He learned phonetically through games & Montessori materials we used but honestly in the end it was my son who taught himself. I remember the day he 'just started reading' and has never had his nose out of a book since. He began reading fluently around 7 years but began reading small words and phrases around 3 years. It was a long gap of learning for him and I wonder if I had just let him be would he have made that connection earlier?
With my youngest son my approach has been very hands off. I have all the same materials available for him but we only use them when he chooses. He will sometimes take out the little readers that have 3 or 4 words on them and try to sound out the words but that's all the reading he's interested in. For him I think he prefers to make up his own story of what the picture might say in a book. His imagination is much more exciting than what is written on the page.
The one thing that is always constant in our home is my husband and I read to the kids every day. Even though my oldest possibly reads better than me I still read chapter books to him. It's a our connection time. My youngest loves me reading chapter books to him at bedtime and this is when much of his learning takes place.
Just like walking and talking, reading is something miraculous that each child will do when they are ready. As a parent we just have to be patient.
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Reading and literacy are such markers of education for most of us that it often gets imbued with other value, as well. Early readers are considered bright and intelligent, whereas late readers are looked upon with some concern. And what we mean by "early" and "late" changes all the time. I remember a friend telling me that her extremely bright and verbal child was behind because she couldn't read upon entering kindergarten. Kindergarten, the first entry to formal education! This was not some academically elite private academy, but a regular public school.
With unschooling there are no deadlines for learning something, so children begin reading independently at all different ages. The stories of how unschoolers begin to read are always interesting to me. One friend's child started reading due his interest in cars and car magazines—he wanted to read what was written under the photos he liked. Another friend's daughter became frustrated that her mom wasn't reading Harry Potter fast enough. My older son began reading around age 7 and like many "late" readers, he never went through a stage of having to painfully sound out each word but was immediately fluent. One week he was not reading, and the next he was reading the Oz books.
My younger son began reading through writing. From a young age, he would leave us "notes" that had series of tiny loops on them, all between the lines and filling the page.
One morning when we were on vacation, he decided to leave a note to his sleeping brother telling him we were going to breakfast. The spelling was a little funky but for the first time ever, the note was intelligible. A few months later, he also began to read. He was 9.
We were once profiled by the local newspaper as an example of an unschooling family. It was an interesting experience because although I talked to the reporter for hours, the main thrust of the story ended up being about how our younger child couldn't read and how I "didn't care" about it. What unschoolers think of as acceptance of the natural learning process can look like alarming negligence to the mainstream media.
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We would love an ongoing conversation in the comment section. What was your experience with your kids learning to read?
